My 9-month-old Baby is Profound Deaf

So I am undergoing healing process - after undergoing through denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance - I am now ready for the options they have proposed for me and my child.

Denial. I had rubella when I was two months pregnant with Mariel and I knew that 80% of live births with mother's who had rubella while pregnant resulted to physical impairment (hearing impairment/deafness in most cases, some with visual impairment/blindness) and in severe cases, congenital heart diseases and mental retardation. I did not believe it at first but it was confirmed through blood test that it was indeed Rubella or German Measles that hit me.

Anger. I was so angry to the point of considering abortion but since everyone was against it, I pursued my pregnancy. There were times that I would blame myself for not being cautious, for being so carefree and trusting. But who really knows where, when and how this virus gets trough you right? There was no breakout or news that there were people who got it in the neighborhood anyway.

Bargaining. I took the risk, praying each day for God to spare my child and let me suffer the pain and agonies rubella could bring. But then, I must not have bargained for God knows what to do even before I asked for it.

Depression. Throughout my pregnancy, I would find myself crying silently since I know that my hubby and my family are also silently grieving and I could only add up to their grief if they will notice that I was lonely. I also have my eldest, Keiichi to look after to, I cannot unmask and breakdown in front of her.

Acceptance. I read somewhere that most pregnancies with severe, uncorrectable complications often lead to miscarriage before they reach the fifth gestation month. In May 2007, I was in Baguio City and surrendered fully to the Lord our child's fate. I stayed in San Roque, which is located beside Dominican Rd. and I made it a promise to reach the top of Lourdes Grotto and light a candle and pray to God for my child's safety. I did reached the top and though I was tired, I felt better and lighter as if something was unburden. Perhaps because I knew that stair-flights - about 300 steps - is risky for pregnants but I have proven that my baby is indeed hanging on and fighting for her own life.

The Healing Process. I gave birth 4 weeks earlier because I was suffering from pre-eclampsia and my baby was distressed already and wanted to go out of my womb. My high blood pressure did not allow her to have her much needed oxygen and I was glad my water broke though no unbearable pain was detected. I thought everything was OK but I still went to see my OB since I knew something was wrong. I should have taken Duvadilan, an anti-contraction medicine, in preparation for my journey back to Pangasinan since that's where I decided to deliver my child because there are more people who could help me in case there are complications. I was about to go on August 29 but I gave birth on August 28, though C-section. My baby defecated in the womb already, a sign that she was so distressed and should be brought out immediately and I was also having severe, 2nd degree eclampsia with my BP reaching 220/180 already. To avoid infection on the baby, she had 14 shots of Penicilin and 7 shots of Gentamicin - 3 shots given to her daily for 7 days.

Yesterday, it was confirmed through ASSR (Auditory Steady State Response) that she was deaf. She has profound hearing loss and can only detect some frequencies with 90-100 decibel amplification. I took her all the way to AudioCare Specialist Manila, the clinic arm of Better Hearing Philippines in E. Rodriguez, Quezon City. We had her OEA in Binan Ear Care, Binan Doctors on May 19 which showed that she be referred to further and so we went for ABR last May 21 in Manila Hearing Aid - Taft but no response was detected from her even when they are already sending 100 decibels bilaterally. I am glad, BHPI had an early schedule for ASSR so I brought her there at once.


We are still thankful that Mariel is only hearing impaired. At least she was spared from visual impairment though she's still at risk, still, we are thankful that she is healthy.


The Options Given. Mariel could possibly benefit from hearing aid especially that she is still in the stage of developing speech. I am glad we detected her hearing impairment early. The device is expensive and we are still trying to save for it. I hope we could raise the needed fund soon so that she could be normalize and won't have to undergo more complicated therapy.

Cochlear implant is the most appropriate intervention for her but we cannot really afford it. The device alone amounts to 900,000 PHP and I don't know if there are foundations who could sponsor her to have the operation. Please let me know if you know such organizations. I wish I could find one who would sponsor her because I really am hoping that she be given all appropriate interventions she'll need so she could reach her optimum development in all aspects of her life.

My primary concern now is to help her attain her optimum psychological development. She may not hear but I want her to learn how to listen - not with her ears but with her eyes, mind and heart - and be more grateful that she is alive and she will always be loved, cared for and needed by us no matter what and who she is.