Nanay Lydia Finally Healed and Rested Forever

Nanay Lydia, as we all call her regardless of our affinity, passed away on December 10. We were all shocked and saddened. We never expected that it would happen too soon. Nanay was ready, she knew it was coming but we are not. As what daddy said, our lives will no longer be whole again but we all need to move on - for the sake of our children.

When I decided to try my luck in Singapore in February, Nanay Lydia insisted on taking care of Mariel in Pangasinan even when she was recovering from stroke. When she learned that Mariel is deaf, she cried but bravely told me that Mariel is still lucky because she could be the next Jamilla (PBB?) and that everybody loves her.

LAst October, she was diagnosed with heart enlargement, peptic ulcer and gallstones. She was already being monitored for her type 2 diabetes, hypertension and possible complications when she had stroke. Nanay was static when she learned that Mama Lita and Jade are coming home in March 2009 but she kept on saying that "baka hindi na tayo magkita kung March pa kayo uuwi". So Mama decided to come home earlier. Nanay was so excited and said "Sasama ako sa pagsundo." Mom and Jade arrived in Manila on October 16, Nanay Lydia was even here to fetch them in NAIA.

Nanay was in and out of the hospital since October. On the second week of November, her cardiologist decided to let her go home with the IV. Our uncles and aunties just asked nurses in our village to inject pain reliever when she experienced gallstone attack.

I just know how painful it was to be inserted IV over and over again. Plus the pain inside the abdomen radiating to the lover right portion of shoulder. Perhaps the pain caused nanay cardiogenic shock. The doctors said it was her heart that caused her life.

It was easier for us to let go of Nanay because we don't wanna see her go through those painful symptoms and medical processes. We were in denial at first, we tried to argue and blame ourselves but we also tried to gather strength from each other. We cried and cried...we hugged and cried on each others shoulders.

It was devastating...it was painful. As mama had said, "Nanay is no longer here, the one who holds the bond among us." Nanay is such a wonderful grandmom to me. She was the one who took care of me and Ranny. She may no longer be with us physically but what she taught us will forever be in us.

We love you Nanay. Thank you for everything. I am not what I am now if not because of you. You did not only teach me how to live but also how to touch other people's lives the way you did to other people. I love you so much.

Mariel's First Four Teeth

Oh well, lots have happened but nothing can compare with this milestone... She got her first four front teeth...move over hippos... :-)

Mariel's 1st Birthday

As usual, mali ang spelling ng name ng baby ko! Keiichi was named Kelichi by Goldilocks on her first birthday din...I never expected that we will experience it again with Lira Mariel. Her name is too common and easy to read and spell. Nevertheless, the cake was beautiful and delicious.


These are some of her guests. Carrying her is Ate Melissa. Actually, most of them are Ate Keiichi's friends.

Spaghetti was cooked and prepared by Kuya Alex and Ate Vicky (Sayang wala silang kuha!) The lumpiang ubod was made and sold by Daddy's suki Kuya Joel. Ate Amor Magracia, mommy's classmate in Nursing Aide, cooked lumpiang shanghai especially for Mariel. Ate Vic also prepared a special birthday macaroni soup for the celebrant - Macaroni, ground beef, carrots and horse radish leaves (in other words, malunggay!).


This is her girft, she thought it was food hehe

She is now learning to walk and eats a lot of solid. In no time, she will be competing with Ate Keiichi.

Mariel Turned 1 Today!

Clap! Clap! Clap!

It's Mariel's special day today. for pics, pls see http://flickr.com/chrysz

We are still busy so i'll give details tomorrow. Thanks everyone for your prayers and unverbalized care.

From Hyperthyroidism to Hypothyroidism

I was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism last November and this month, it was found out that my thyroid is underactive. My endocrinologists, Dr. Ma. Cecilla Gonzales advised me to take 20 mg of Methimazole Tapdin and after a few months, perhaps my thyroid activity went back to normal but because I was only advised to have the TSH and FT4 testing every three months, we were not able to monitor the changes over time. My medicine intake is now cut down to 5mg.

When I had hyperthyroidism, I get tired easily, lost a lot of weight and often experienced shortness of breath. The thermoregulation of my body was also abnormal, I felt so cold even when it is hot and I don't sweat at all. Recently, I still felt cold most of the time but I am gaining so much weight even when I eat less and I am lossing more or less 100 strands a day. I also had my menstruation twice this August and the blood flow was excessive.

We often neglect changes in our body, never bothering that it could be caused by disorders or diseases. I thought, my hair loss is only due to my last pregnancy or perhaps due to aging (I can't accept it!). It was my endocrinologist who told me that hair loss is due to hypothyroidism. Excessive sweating is also one symptom though, I feel the opposite.

So for any abnormal changes in your body, better seek medical help immediately.

10 Days To Go!!!

Mariel is turning one ten days from now. There will be a small celebration as Thanksgiving (dinner). She can now stand up and crawl really fast. Here are some of her latest pics.

More pics are posted in flicker

In Memoriam

This was Auntie or Lola Caridad in 2004 Birthday celebration of Keiichi. She can still walk at that time but with a cane. Two month ago, she was diagnosed with cancer but due to old age, they did not pursue her operation. She passed away on July 31 at the age of 93.

She is Daddy's grand aunt. Tatay Rogelio's father, Lolo Justiniano was her brother.

Lolo Isyo or Lolo Simplicio is my father's father. Our last meeting was on June 5, the day before he was brought home from Region 1 Medical Hospital in San Fernando, La Union. He suffered from heat stroke and was under coma for a few weeks. He was still able to recover but succumbed to death on August 6. He will be laid to rest on August 18.

I spent my summers in Sudipen when I was still in elementary. I maybe talkative, hyperactive and sometimes pasaway but I don't remember being spanked by Lolo. That is what I am proud of and that is what I am keeping in mind as a proof that I am much better than my other cousins and that my mom and my grandparents brought me up nicer than what other people claim. (Pasensiya na, pero that's the truth and Lolo recognized that because he had seen the good things in my mom and her parents that her other children tried to ignore.) Every afternoon, Lolo would go to Coop store to fetch Lola Amparo or Lola Sayong. That's how sweet they are...I know that because Lolo would always ask me to accompany him when I was there.

The Countdown Begins!!!

Sorry for those who are waiting for the updates...we've been very busy these past weeks. Keiichi had her first monthly test on 3rd week of July followed by her Nutrition Month parade the next week and then, I had my first exam in my Nursing Aide class on August 1. So far, Keiichi passed most of her exam except Science but at least hindi zero hehehe!

I got 5 mistakes in Nursing Skills and only in my anatomy exam and I am really frustrated but then, brown out kasi the night before the test hehe (Kanya-kanyang palusot lang po yan!)

Mariel can now sit down and crawl forward. She loves books . She can stand up - aided, of course... She's turning one in a few days now and we haven't plan for her party yet for some reasons...

Truth is, we are mourning for the loss for our grandparents, daddy's Auntie Caridad and my Lolo Simplicio, Papa's dad. Lolo Isyo's interment will be on August 18 in Sudipen, La Union.

Got a class to catch, I'll try to update later :-)

Laughing Mariel

Playing with Daddy...
It's now 12 midnight but she is still awake and very playful. She would pretend to be crying but the moment you approach or touch her, she would giggle.
More pics are in my flickr.

Treasures

Our precious angels in their own treasures - the big teddy from Mama Carol (sent 3 or 4 years ago), Elmo dolls for Keiichi, laughing Big Bird for Mariel (from Ate Jade's own collection hehe) and the Squeaky Butterfly bought especially for Mariel by Mama Lita (which brought me to tears when Nanay Lydia handed it to me because I feel pity for my child because I am wondering how she will be able to appreciate it if she is deaf. Ate Keiichi showed me how. She held the butterly and made the wings flap and moved it near her sister which made Mariel giggle. We are glad we have a puppeteer in the family. )

This crib was Keiichi's so it is now 5 years old too. The red Dora blanket is Jade's but as usual, Keiichi said "akin na lang!" so Jeddai gladly packed it and sent it to her.

Food Crisis?!?

It is actually a delicacy from Gumaca, Quezon. It's like dilis but it more tasty. But it is really tuyo not dilis...

This is nilupak na saging na saba, not cassava or rice. This is my first time to eat this. It's like nilubi or boiled then mashed or pounded while they mix sugar and made into suman or wrapped with banana leaves. Mahal na kasi bigas!

I miss Quezon's tikoy, pinagong and espasol! I also miss Nanay's bilo-bilo/tambong-tambong since that's what she always cook when there's an occasion in Pangasinan. Daddy misses sumang malagkit or steamed glutinous rice in coconut milk, wrapped in coconut leaves then dipped in sugar, coco jam or eaten with ripe mango.

Iel's First Month with the Hearing Aid

We went to Vision and Hearing International in Highway 54 (infront of SM Megamall) for Mariel's check up. This is another branch/affiliate of Ear Diagnostics Clinic and since the audiologist is there, we went there instead of going to EDI-Taft. It is more accessible to us since it takes 2-rides for us to get to Taft while to get to Highway 54 (EDSA), Mandaluyong, it takes only one bus ride.

So far, Mariel's development is improving. The main goal of having the hearing aid for the first month is sound awareness only but for Mariel, she is not only aware of the sound but she seeks for the sound producer and sometimes imitates the pitch and tone of the sound. According to the audiologist, it was really an advantage that we diagnosed her handicap early and were able to make necessary interventions/corrections because in some cases, children who were diagnosed late were not able to develop verbal speech and some social behaviors. Her being weary and crying more often only shows that Mariel is now realizing that if she cries, we will attend to her at once. It was like being a new born again in terms of social behavior, hearing and speaking and we are happy with what she is showing. Sometimes, we get irritated because we would rush to her because she is crying but the very moment she sees you, she would giggle or smile wryly.

She is outgrowing her earmolds so we don't have a choice but to go back to EDI Taft after seeing n ENT for her ear cleaning but since we don't have a regular ENT yet, I will have to look for a more affordable doctor near our place. It's really hard budgeting when you don't have enough funds! Hope you could recommend a good one that doesn't charge much :-) I am willing to go to as far as UP PGH. The ENTs here (in and near San Pedro, Laguna Area) charges patients P500 for consultation and another fee for other services.

For Jade...

I know you won't be able to read this yet but I hope, you'll soon learn how to. Just wanna thank you for being mama's pillar of strength when everyone is physically absent. You gave a new meaning in her life that we have not been able to share - giving her the chance to raise her own child. You are most blessed among us three, not that we are not since we cannot compare Nanay and Tatay's love for me and Ranny but you were the one who was really showered by Mama's presence, love and care.

Mama is quite worried that Canada might affect your mentally and attitude but I said, the way she is bringing you up and the way Mama is looking after Nanay will be kept in your mind forever - that is, good deeds beget good deeds. You may argue at times, shout at each other, annoy her by kissing her so often, telling her "I love you, I can't help but love you Mama!" - but these are juthe spices of life that you are giving her.

I know you love Mama so much the way we all do. Continue shedding light in our lives as we all love you, for always.

- Ate Belle

P.S.
I know you would want your pics seen online, so here's your latest pics in your Small Wonders Discovery Center tour. You haven't introduced your two escorts yet. Extend my gratitude to Tita Elena.

Mariel is turning 1 in two months!!!

Mariel turned ten-month old the day before yesterday but we were so busy to realize it. I was doing the laundry and I have to keep watch of the hanged clothes outside since the weather is unpredictable these days. Keiichi was also busy playing, reading and annoying everyone in between. (This keeps our days alive, believe me! Daddy misses her so much if she's away because no one keeps him awake all day hehe)

Lira Mariel is beginning to crawl now. She can lift her trunks up while kneeling and straightening her two upper limbs. She climbs on pillows and slithers fasts while in supine position. If she aims to get something, she will first lie on her chest and stomach and maybe, estimates how far the object is and then rolls over and lies on her back and pushes her body up.

As for her speech, she is babbling sounds of different pitches and tones. She even said "ahmma, mommy, mama" and yesterday "abba". She giggles a lot and knows how to use head nods already. Every time Keiichi kisses her, she would turn her head from head to right as if saying "stop" or "no". What really bring us to tears all the time is when she would go near you and she'll rest her head on your hand, arms or on your lap. She also has a ready smile to almost everyone as if she is always the one being talked to.

She has also learned the essence of crying! My goodness! She is crying more often now than before just to attract attention. Then, she only cries when something is wrong. Now, she would cry but the very moment you approach or just look at her, she will smile or giggle at once. So now, daddy is ignoring her when she cries.

We'll be seeing EDI later this week because the earmold of her right ear was detached. She grabbed it while we were Pacquiao - Diaz fight yesterday.

Tuna Adobo Macaroni for Mariel

Rice is binding according to mylot respondents so instead of rice, I used boiled Macaroni. I mashed it and added Tuna Adobo. I mashed it again and added water to reduce the salty taste and make it thicker so Mariel could shallow it easily.

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Mariel likes abodo a lot. She also likes sinigang na baboy or bangus, nilagang baka, nilagang baboy or any stew. But since meat are more difficult to mash, I use canned tuna instead.

She is beginning to dislike pear juice but she still likes water even without the sugar or Karo syrup.

She has her taho today, less the sago. I just don't wanna give it to her daily since soya solidifies the poo.

Mariel Was Constipated...

Pls don't read if you are the sensitive type but if you find constipation and other related items here beneficial to you, then read on...)

Mariel was constipated since April, I even rushed her once to the hospital because there was blood in her poo but it was just a simple laceration due to her rocky hard poo. I went to see her Pedia after two days so that she will be prescribed with laxatives as I am afraid to use suppository. He prescribed 2 tsp of Karo syrup in her water or milk and duphalac (lactolose) 2 times a day, 2 - 4 ml. We gave him lots of fluids, pear juice (I blended pear fruit with lots of water) and a scoopful of sugar in her water. Her meals included cerelac oats with prunes, papaya, avocado, Gerber fruit medley, squash or sweet potato. It worked for only a few days but she still cries when she deficates. I increased the dosage of her Karo syrup and duphalac and I have gotten to the point of giving her 5ml of Karo Syrup in her every milk.

Last June 7, we were in Pangasinan and went to see Dr. Marvin Callanta in Pozorrubio. He was her Pedia when she contacted amoebiasis last February. We were there for her flu or measles vaccine. He injected MMR instead since it is much wiser giving her MMR (Mumps, Measles, Rubella) than just Measles vaccine. I also consulted him about her constipation and he prescribed fibrosine only and asked me to gradually reduce the Karo syrup until it is no longer part of her diet. I used corn oil instead but I eventually stopped using it. She still cries when she go so I asked my friend pharmacist in Mercury to give me a liquid laxative. I tried giving Mariel Dulcolax SP and it worked.

Good thing, she is now intestinally Ok :-) Two nights ago, I forgot to give her Dulcolax and she was crying again yesterday as she excreted. She had not make a go today yet because I forgot to add Fibrosine to her first milk this morning but I am hoping that she will be OK.

Perhaps the reintroduction of solid food after she recovered from Amoebiasis and too much probiotics in her stomach made her excretes solid. Maybe she was also traumatized that she learned to hold back her poo which makes it harder as peristalsis is being hindered (water as they say is removed in the last part of digestion) making it more difficult to be removed.

Keiichi's School Tale

Keiichi is turning 6 on October 9 so I insisted that she be enrolled in Grade 1 since her knowledge and ability is that of Prep and Grade 1 (beginner). She can add, subtract, knows her sets, fractions, Ruman Numbers, time; can read CVCs and knows the sound of letters, etc. Basically, she is ready.

But after two weeks in class, it seems that they are too fast in injecting new lessons. In Math alone, they were into reading and writing numbers up to the hundred thousands place and just yesterday, they are arranging numbers from least to greatest and greatest to least. This involves 3-digit numbers when in fact they haven't fully grasp place value well enough to introduce that new lesson. I have to re-teach the lesson to her and we have even gotten to the point when I have to draw circles (hundreds of it!) just to show her concretely. For the value of a certain digit, instead of teaching them that in hundred (period: UNITS), there are already three digits, they are taught to copy the copy in hundreds place and count the numbers to the right and that's the number of zeroes you must add! My goodness! It's understood that Mathematics is an abstract subject but it can be and must be taught concretely for a child to understand and appreciate the subject. Not because the child can answer the seat work or assignment would mean that they have understood the lesson. Another problem is that, some of the questions in Math are answered wrongly. (How many tens are in 760? is it 60? or should it be 76 or another acceptable is just 6 tens and not 60, right?) You can reinforce the subjects or lessons at home but how would you do it if the input from the class is already wrong? Would you blame me if I would go to their school and claim? I hope they will not take it against my child or against me but take it constructively and a source of professional growth. I don't wanna say more...

I don't have that much problem with their other subjects. Their lessons are indeed advanced but they must at least make provisions or adjustments in some lessons they are feeding the child. Also, their methods are questionable in my point of view. They are so fast-paced that I am not sure if they are even using visual aids. They are aiming to finish the whole book which I guess is also what they are using as their curriculum. (UPDATE: In the recent seminar of DepEd teacher, according to Ate Ness Angco, a teacher in Muntinlupa and a cousin of daddy who teaches Math for years) DepEd reiterates that mastery of the lesson and development of higher thinking skill should be the objective even if the bugdet of work is not attained.

I haven't bought her Star Scout Uniform (Girl Scout) yet because we still don't have money. Hopefully, by July 15, I'll get paid by mylot again and I do hope it will be enough to cover her uniform. Her PE uniform will be available next week (I guess). Daddy fixed Tita May's laptop and his pay was used to pay Keiichi's lunch in school. She is having Php 12 - 30/meal almost everyday. She stays in her school from 7 am to 1 pm on Tuesdays to Friday and till 2pm on Mondays.

Mariel's First Dayout in Her Hearing Aid

Mariel went out today, just in front of our house (at the facade, between the jackfruit and santol tree of Lola. We are lucky, it remained standing after the storm yesterday dawn), in her hearing aid. It's a milestone for us since it was her first dayout in her HA. It was only for fifteen minutes and she was so excited that she did not try to remove it. She was also having Marie biscuits and she ate about 4 pieces. Sorry... no pic was taken I was so busy feeding her and watching Ate Keiichi play with Kuya Bon and John.

Why can't they admit that they have a problem?

I just wanna let this out because I really am frustrated with the services of these telecoms and internet provider. They would really insist that the problem is in your unit or in your hardware and not on them.

I just experienced another downtime with our internet at around 10 to 12 today so I was not able to do mylot, click on PTCs and chat with my mom; I was already browsing at 8 am when I got disconnected at 9 and then at 10. I am connected according to the ISP but I cannot browse so at 12, I called their tech support and all they asked me to do was restart everything, delete cookies from the browsers, etc which I don't think should be done because my connection was Ok a while ago. I just followed their instruction just to satisfy them. I even go to their website to check if I can already connect after following her instructions but unluckily, I cannot even open their own website. Perhaps, the Lady Technician is only following her Dummy script and she is not allowed to divert from that script. I am glad, my hubby was still cool at that time or else, the girl would have received a lecture from the one who knows best about computer.

Another instance that I really got so angry was with a cellphone service provider when they insisted that my phone was broken when in fact, i've been inserting the simcard to three different cellphones yet I am having the same result. I just live here in the outskirt of Metro Manila so it should be expected that my signal or network should be as fine as when I am in the urban area. They even made me wait for 20 minutes or so and all they have recorded in their log was that there was a problem with my handphone. Eventually, they sent a technician in my house to check if there's really a network failure in our place and they were shocked, the signal is really low. They even used my other number to contact me just to follow up because I really stopped using their sim. After a month, they were convinced that they do have a problem. I wished they were SMART enough to have figured out that I won't waste time waiting for their call center agents to hear my complaints if I am just another prank caller.

Oh dear! Is this what we really call SERVICE? Can't they just admit that they have a problem and not focus on their usual script that we must restart our PC or CPs, insert sim again etc?

My 9-month-old Baby is Profound Deaf

So I am undergoing healing process - after undergoing through denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance - I am now ready for the options they have proposed for me and my child.

Denial. I had rubella when I was two months pregnant with Mariel and I knew that 80% of live births with mother's who had rubella while pregnant resulted to physical impairment (hearing impairment/deafness in most cases, some with visual impairment/blindness) and in severe cases, congenital heart diseases and mental retardation. I did not believe it at first but it was confirmed through blood test that it was indeed Rubella or German Measles that hit me.

Anger. I was so angry to the point of considering abortion but since everyone was against it, I pursued my pregnancy. There were times that I would blame myself for not being cautious, for being so carefree and trusting. But who really knows where, when and how this virus gets trough you right? There was no breakout or news that there were people who got it in the neighborhood anyway.

Bargaining. I took the risk, praying each day for God to spare my child and let me suffer the pain and agonies rubella could bring. But then, I must not have bargained for God knows what to do even before I asked for it.

Depression. Throughout my pregnancy, I would find myself crying silently since I know that my hubby and my family are also silently grieving and I could only add up to their grief if they will notice that I was lonely. I also have my eldest, Keiichi to look after to, I cannot unmask and breakdown in front of her.

Acceptance. I read somewhere that most pregnancies with severe, uncorrectable complications often lead to miscarriage before they reach the fifth gestation month. In May 2007, I was in Baguio City and surrendered fully to the Lord our child's fate. I stayed in San Roque, which is located beside Dominican Rd. and I made it a promise to reach the top of Lourdes Grotto and light a candle and pray to God for my child's safety. I did reached the top and though I was tired, I felt better and lighter as if something was unburden. Perhaps because I knew that stair-flights - about 300 steps - is risky for pregnants but I have proven that my baby is indeed hanging on and fighting for her own life.

The Healing Process. I gave birth 4 weeks earlier because I was suffering from pre-eclampsia and my baby was distressed already and wanted to go out of my womb. My high blood pressure did not allow her to have her much needed oxygen and I was glad my water broke though no unbearable pain was detected. I thought everything was OK but I still went to see my OB since I knew something was wrong. I should have taken Duvadilan, an anti-contraction medicine, in preparation for my journey back to Pangasinan since that's where I decided to deliver my child because there are more people who could help me in case there are complications. I was about to go on August 29 but I gave birth on August 28, though C-section. My baby defecated in the womb already, a sign that she was so distressed and should be brought out immediately and I was also having severe, 2nd degree eclampsia with my BP reaching 220/180 already. To avoid infection on the baby, she had 14 shots of Penicilin and 7 shots of Gentamicin - 3 shots given to her daily for 7 days.

Yesterday, it was confirmed through ASSR (Auditory Steady State Response) that she was deaf. She has profound hearing loss and can only detect some frequencies with 90-100 decibel amplification. I took her all the way to AudioCare Specialist Manila, the clinic arm of Better Hearing Philippines in E. Rodriguez, Quezon City. We had her OEA in Binan Ear Care, Binan Doctors on May 19 which showed that she be referred to further and so we went for ABR last May 21 in Manila Hearing Aid - Taft but no response was detected from her even when they are already sending 100 decibels bilaterally. I am glad, BHPI had an early schedule for ASSR so I brought her there at once.


We are still thankful that Mariel is only hearing impaired. At least she was spared from visual impairment though she's still at risk, still, we are thankful that she is healthy.


The Options Given. Mariel could possibly benefit from hearing aid especially that she is still in the stage of developing speech. I am glad we detected her hearing impairment early. The device is expensive and we are still trying to save for it. I hope we could raise the needed fund soon so that she could be normalize and won't have to undergo more complicated therapy.

Cochlear implant is the most appropriate intervention for her but we cannot really afford it. The device alone amounts to 900,000 PHP and I don't know if there are foundations who could sponsor her to have the operation. Please let me know if you know such organizations. I wish I could find one who would sponsor her because I really am hoping that she be given all appropriate interventions she'll need so she could reach her optimum development in all aspects of her life.

My primary concern now is to help her attain her optimum psychological development. She may not hear but I want her to learn how to listen - not with her ears but with her eyes, mind and heart - and be more grateful that she is alive and she will always be loved, cared for and needed by us no matter what and who she is.

UP Centennial Celebration - Congrats mga Isko at Iska!

GMA 7's morning show Unang Hirit is having their Reyna ng Kalsada segment in UP Diliman. I just miss my alma mater and memories are beginning to rush again. Actually, I've been there yesterday to arrange something with PNB but I was not able to see the Oblation Run - this time, it was held around the Academic Oval and not within the Palma Complex (Whew! that around2.5 km-nude-running). I wish I am there today for the motorcade but I am not in the mood anyway. It is also Laguna Day today, so my child Keiichi don't have her classes - it's Jose Rizal's birthday. It's just the right time for us to catch up on our sleep so I let her and Keiichi stay late in bed.

When I saw the UP Centennial Shirt worn by one of the students when I got my transcript in January, I promised myself to save for it and gotcha! I had it in February. Its only P175 and as most UP Shirts, it was made by Maroons. I've first worn it when I went to Pangasinan in February and brought it in Singapore and wore it on when we watched the Airshow.

What do I really miss in UP? Oh a lot! Almost all places there held memories - whom I was with, wat I was doing and what I felt. I'll post my past blog here why the Main Library is what I treasure the most. Actually, I could stay there until it closes at 12 midnight. Of course, the College of Education is my home and I also miss the College of Science which accepted me as freshie hehe and of course, Kalayaan Residence Hall - the dormitory exclusive for freshmen. Kalai was where I learned how to live away from my grannies, brother, cousins, aunts and uncles. I was glad Aunt Rose, Papa's sister just lived beside Kalai, Sanggumay Residence Hall (women residence, mostly taking post gradate courses), so it was like I was not alone because I could go to her place anytime. I made new friends there and they have made my UP life a really fun one.

I miss the places where I ate there. I miss Somos' chicken meals. They would serve us chicken almost everyday in Kalai hehe but nevertheless, their people were really nice to me. I miss the Isawan in Kalai which is just beside the post office. On Sundays, I would just have chicken gizard, some bbq and chicken intestines (isaw!) and rice from the UP Coop. (Somos don't serve us meal on Sundays) I miss the "chao fan" or mixed rice in CS Canteen. If I was really hungry and would want a full meal that is cheap, I would go to Aristocart in Engg Building and I am now missing their bistek tagalog and sweetened banana. I also ate in CASAA especially when I was already in Educ since most the time, the meals in Educ Canteen and infront of Narra Residence Hall were already sold out when I had my break.

I also dined in the Thai Canteen with some of my NEC friends which was located near Romulo Hall and in an exotic canteen near the pool area with my Aunt Rose. They served us something with Ox brain. I also tried FC Canteen and those Ilocano folks made me miss home and think of my Nanay Lydia and Tatay Romeo because they're the only ones that serve dinengdeng.

UP life won't be complete without eating fishballs in SC, Fine Arts (that was when I was working as student assistant in Diliman Information Office), Vinzons, FC and in a lot more places different places inside the campus I could no longer remember. Back in 2003 - 2004, the monay was really hot and they only had cheese as filling. In my last visit in FC, they have various fillings for the monay already. Oh my fave footlong hotdog sandwich! How could I forget it! It is still sold between FC and Chem building.

I've discovered pinipig pandan flavored only when I was reviewing for LET in UP Alumni Hostel. Also, only that time that I was able to eat in the canteen beside the bowling center, to think that I had bowling for a semester!

Chocolate Kiss!!! I just love thi coño place but honestly, its not that expensive. I thought it was so expensive so I did not even try to eat there when I was a student but when I was alreay working and taking my post-grad in UPOU, I tried dining there with my classmate and friend Mae Rosalinas. I just can't forget their Chicken Alfredo and carrot cake! I've also tried their blueberry cheesecake and it was way better than that of Red Ribbon. It's my taste bud speaking so don't argue with me hehehe So now when I wanna treat myself with a good meal and I have money, I would always go to Chocolate Kiss.

Food...food...food...Oh well, how about people that really helped me through? Let me try to remember some and try to shorten my list and present them on my next blog...

Valuing Relationship

I got this email from Auntie Felisa and it did make me cry. Please also take time to visit http://parentswish.com if you wanna cry more :-)

Thanks for being be there, for building a good relationship with me and with my mom and sis. We may have argued sometimes but the sense of belonging you are showing us will never be reciprocated with any wealth. They can have their land, money or material thing but we will have the most precious thing that will never fade - our love and care for each other as family.

F A M I L Y

I ran into a stranger as he passed by,
"Oh excuse me please" was my reply.

He said, "Please excuse me too;
I wasn't watching for you."

We were very polite, this stranger and I.
We went on our way and we said goodbye.

But at home a different story is told,
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.

Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
My son stood beside me very still.

When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.
"Move out of the way," I said with a frown.

He walked away, his little heart broken.
I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.

While I lay awake in bed,
God's still small voice came to me and said,

"While dealing with a stranger,
common courtesy you use,
but the family you love, you seem to abuse.

Go and look on the kitchen floor,
You'll find some flowers there by the door.

Those are the flowers he brought for you.
He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.

He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,
you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes."

By this time, I felt very small,
And now my tears began to fall.

I quietly went and knelt by his bed;
"Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.

"Are these the flowers you picked for me?"
He smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree.

I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.
I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."

I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;
I shouldn't have yelled at you that way."
He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay.
I love you anyway."


I said, "Son, I love you too,
and I do like the flowers, especially the blue."

FAMILY
Are you aware that if we die tomorrow, the company
that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days.
But the family we left behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.


And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than into our own family,
an unwise investment indeed, don't you think?
So what is behind the story?

Do you know what the word FAMILY means?
FAMILY = (F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU
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I was furious with my daughter Keiichi because she uprooted my bonsai plant. It has purple leaves. She was holding it and the moment I saw it, my eyebrows met but I was glad I did not say a word. She said it was so cute and it was for me. I was moved and was about to cry so I have to turn around to hide the tears. Then I told her that I was grateful and that I love her so. I don't want the plant to die so I told her that we had to replant it and make sure it will grow bigger and healthier.

Unluckily, one of her playmates found the plant really nice that he uprooted it again and I never saw it again :-(

Chi is sometimes annoying and I don't deny the fact that I am mean and make mistakes at times but for her, I am her supermom.

I don't know how to make a nice conclusion in this entry. I just know I am loved and that I also love my family and friends a lot and I am glad I was able to maintain a good relationship towards a lot of people. As what a friend of mine reiterates in our last conversation, the relationship I have built with other people is what always matters at the end of the day. Other people may say that you are the worst kind, but those whom you've touched compassionately will tell otherwise.

My House Husband... Happy father's day Baby Daddy!

Reposting my blog about daddy Franz... There's more stories to tell but I guess this is enough for now. Many words and stories could be told but one thing is sure, he loves us dearly and we love him as much too. Translation to follow...
_______________________________

As much as possible I don't wanna talk as long as people don't ask me why... but I have my own emotions of course. I keep it to myself though I must admit I divulge it to some people I trust the most.

Aside from my family and my husband's family, only a few friends knows...

This evening he asked me of writing a blog about him...napag-usapan kasi namin ang isang mag-asawang hindi naman na kaiba sa lahat. Syempre, sa lipunang ito e uso pa rin ang machismo, hindi pa rin pantay ang pagtingin sa babae at lalaki which I advocate to change someday...or maybe I have started implementing what I know is just OK.

Ganito kasi yun... nanganak ako dito lang sa ospital malapit sa aming bahay dito sa Pacita pero ang kasama kong pumunta sa hospital (as in nakaya ko pong maglakad pa at sumakay ng trike...) ay pamangkin ni Franz, my hubby. Then, binantayan ako ni Engineer Nina Magsino (binanggit talga hehehe) who was my housemate noon sa UP Bliss. Ni hindi nakalip si Daddy sa ospital. ... kainis pa kasi when my water broke, ginising ko siya and told him na pupunta na akong ospital coz its time... sagot ba naman "timpla mo muna akong kape." wow! (bagong gising...mas ok nga naman sa lasing na nabibigla...)

Everytime na umuuwi akong Pangasinan, kami lang ng anak ko ang nakakauwi with all the bags and pasalubong....kaya nga supermom e hehehe

April 2004, graduation ko na sa Unibersidad ng Pilipinas. Of course, proud ang lahat kaya naman isang van ang dumating galing sa probinsiya, pati tatay kong minsan lang magpakita e hindi pinalagpas ang pagkakataon masilayan ang pagtatapos ng kanyang pinakapanganay na anak. (I hope I am not sounding like Bob Ong...pero ok lang, ganyan talga ang nagbabasa at nangongolekta hehehe) Masaya naman kaming lahat that time, kasama ko din si Keiichi baby ko at s-um-ide trip pa kami sa Megamall.

November 2004, Oathtaking ko naman sa CCP bilang isang lisensyadong guro...mag-isa lang po ako...

It hurts na wala ang asawa ko for those moments and more events na madalas kami lang ng anak ko ang nakakasaksi. He would just be looking at the pictures and listen to his kid's and wife's account of what happened. Is he contented? I know he is not.... if its painful for me and my kid, its more painful for him.

Sabihin na nating di nga niya ako masamahan sa mga ganyang events, wala siya na magbubuhat sa mga bagahe ko o susundo sa akin kapag ginagabi ako... kasi pilay siya (he had contracted polio when he was barely two years old) but i'll never think twice having him as my husband and my kid's dad...

I was still attending UP Diliman when I gave birth to Keiichi on October 9. 2002. I did not stop schooling and took the exams for that sem a week after I gave birth. Then I enrolled the following semester... Who took care of Keiichi? It was her dad and he is still taking care of her until now.

Wag nang sabihing genes lang ang dahilan ng kabibuhan ng anak ko, kasi EQ na ang usapan ngayon hindi IQ. Siguro kung ibang tao ang nagpalaki sa anak ko, hindi siya ganito ngayon - isang batang matalino at may "compassion" sa ibang tao.

Never pa akong nasaktan physically, unlike the woman I love the most who was slapped infront of me and my brother. Franz is grumpy at times but I do understand coz im also insensitive, madalas...

Hindi ako naghahanap ng asawang lasing o nag-aalala kung saang beerhouse na nakarating, sabi yan ng kaibigan ko na dapat kong ipagpasalamat. I am thankful kasi naranasan kong sumundo ng lolong lasing at humabol sa papa ko ng isang kilometro dahil ayaw akong isama sa lakad nila ng kanyang barkada.

Hindi nga nagagawa ng asawa ko ang magbuhat ng bag ko, sumundo sa akin sa labas, o di kaya'y maglinis, maglaba, magluto o umakyat sa bubong...at least me reason na pilay siya,. kesa naman sa ibang daig pa ang baldado na iniaasa lahat sa kanilang mga asawa ang trabaho sa bahay.

Eh ano kung pilay siya? at least he knows what he can do and d it gladly... kesa nga naman sa asawang sakit sa ulo at puso (n)... joke!

Anthology of House Husband

Here's for my uncles who set my standard in choosing my partner. I'm sorry but cannot translate it for now because I am kinda busy. Love you uncles, thanks for being my father...Especially to Tatay who was the role-model of how to be a good dad.

Sabi ng iba, mataas daw ang standard ko ng love, masyadong idealistic. Yun bang you'll fully commit, di naman yung ilaladlad mo ang buhay mo pero yung maging honest ka kapag me tinatanong ka and you're willing to bare your heart, most of your pains and joys and you're willing to show me the child in you. Marunong naman akong tumanggap at umintindi ng kahit na ano, kaya nga kahit extreme personality e nakakaya kong pakisamahan. It's just that I hate purely superficials and most especially plastic.

Wala namang prob sa hubby ko coz I've seen him naked (literally and figuratively) but my friend asked me to elaborate further why I am like this.

I am lucky I guess kasi di ako kagaya ng ibang asawa na sumusundo, naghahanap o naghahatid ng lasing na asawa. I am not yet beaten (sana nga hindi mangyari kundi goodbye agad hekhekhek) and he really take time taking care of our Keiichi which I never experienced from Papa.

Kwento sa akin, natiis daw nila ang pambabae ng mga asawa nila pati ang iba nilang bisyo. Masaya at proud na sila kasi nakapagtiis sila at immune na sila sa sakit ng naghihintay sa taong ewan kung kelan uuwi. I cannot refute kung yan ang paniniwala nila pero I want the whole world to know, na habang ang ibang babae e nag-iisip na pare-pareho ang mga lalaki na kung hindi barkada, inuman o pambabae ang inaatupag e me mga LALAKI pa naman na hindi ganun.

Kahit pa ang papa ko e ganun na nga, kakaiba ang mga lalaki sa pamilya ng mama ko. Ang lolo ko, nabuhay at namatay ng wala akong naalalang napaugnay sa kanyang ibang babae maliban sa lola ko. Siya din ang nagluluto, nag-aalaga sa amin madalas pag wala sa bukid at hindi din niya sinaktan kahit minsan ang lola ko. Ang mga tito ko naman, ok lang sa kanila ang maglaba at wala din akong nabalitaan na napaugnay sa kanilang babae. Puro sila matiisin at higit sa lahat, responsable.

Yung isa kong tito, asawa ng kapatid ng mama ko. nung una e pinagtawanan ng mga kasamahan kasi siya lang daw ang walang ka-table. Ilang beses yun naulit pero wala talagang appeal sa kanya ang mga babae dun kasi tapos na daw siya sa gawaing ganun. HIndi namin malalaman ang insidenteng yun kung di kinuwento ng mga kasamahan niya na proud na proud sa kanya.

Minsan nakakaawa din ang isa kong Tito kasi kahit m-f ang kanyang trabaho sa DPWH Region 1 e naglalaba pa yan ng Sabado at nag-aalaga pag Linggo. Sabi niya, pagod na daw ang asawa nya sa pag-aalaga sa nga anak nila ng m-f kaya siya naman ang magtrabaho sa bahay habang andun siya. galing di ba? super husband hehehe

Yung isa naman, (ito na ang kulang sa akin...) ung panganay nina mama e mabait din. katunayan siya pa lang ang tito kong isinama kami ng kapatid ko para manood ng Batang X sa Urdaneta (CSI ata hehehe basta bata pa ako noon). Wa siya paki kahit siya ang nagiging nanay at tatay sa anak niya habang nasa ibang bansa ang asawa at siya ay nakabakasyon dito. Madalas pag me niluluto ang asawa niya noong andito pa at lalo na ngayon andito na sila, tatawagin kami at papatikimin ng mga cakes, etc sabay buong pagmamalaking sasabihin na "luto ng auntie niyo yan". sweat este sweet di ba? la lang, sana ganun din kayo sa kin hehehehe pero no kidding, ang story nila e talgang "for richer or poorer,in sickness or in health hehehe

You really cannot blame me kung iba ang pagtingin ko sa mga bagay kasi yung normal sa iba e kakaiba na for me. Some husbands would shout at their wives when they need something pero di yun dapat gawing habit. Sa family namin, bukod sa mataas ang pagtingin at pagpapahalaga nila sa mga babae, they also see to it that they get what is due to them - not just those things money can buy but love and respect due for every woman who is a mother, an aunt, a neice or a daughter.

Mababait nga siguro ang lolo at tito ko pero if they can be faithful with their wives, why not others do it too? di ako naniniwala kay Dolphy a basta't inuuwian ka pa ng aswa mo ikaw pa ang mahal niya. Kung ganun din lang, letcheng pagmamahal yan...ipakain mo nalang sa aso kasama ng b*rat mo!

Maswerte nga ako dahil di lang ako basta inanakan kundi inaalagaan din ang anak ko. at least, those things I did not experience from papa e ginagawa ni daddy kay keiichi. Kahit ganun na lang, wag na ako .... pero I'm still lucky coz my house husband is trustwothy enough...palit pa kami ng sim card hehehe

Mariel Got Her Hearing Aids!

I sure am a fast mover and I hate being idle and have time to wallow on depression and hopelessness. I am glad my mom is also a hyperactive and don't want any delays. She loaned us money at once (pay when able, no interest - sorry, that policy is exclusive to LIRA MARIEL, FRANCESCA KEIICHI AND RAE CLARENCE, my nephew). Also, Tita Carol and Lola Chit sent more for this month to cover Mariel's expenses.

Mariel got her hearing aids from Ear Diagnostics Inc. in Taft. Thanks to Ms. Ruby for assisting us. Mariel was able to detect the LRT noise, clapping sound and her name. She did panned her head when Ms. Ruby called her name from behind!

I chose Ear Diagnostics because they offer a much cheaper brand of hearing aid. The audiologists from Manila Hearing Aid and Better Hearing explained to me that brand doesn't matter anyway so I did look for more affordable ones. EDI is also affiliated with EMBRACE Hearing and Speech Rehab Center and I had Mariel wait-listed for evaluation. The earlier the detection and intervention, the better the result of course so why wait, right? Also, EMBRACE offers Home Program for those who cannot visit the center often. Their Speech Pathologists are also extending help by referring their colleagues who are near our area. Maybe after the evaluation, I could also contact SPED schools near us who could refer Speech Paths and who knows, in a month or two, I could role-release already.

Mariel is still adjusting with her hearing aids and I hope it will really facilitate her holistic development. Thanks again for everyone - we could repay the amount loaned and services you offered but the effort and prayers, the moral and emotional support you've given us will never be compensated with any amount.

I just wanna share this message I got from Ayel recently, a fellow alumni-member of UP SMMART whom I never met personally yet but would always call and text me to show how much she really care:

"I asked for STRENGTH, and God gave me DIFFICULTIES to make me STRONG.
I asked for WISDOM, and God gave me PROBLEMS to SOLVE.
I asked for LOVE, and God gave me TROUBLED to HELP.
I asked for COURAGE, and God gave me DANGER to OVERCOME.
I asked for PROSPERITY, and God gave me BRAINS and SKILLS to WORK.
I asked for FAVORS, and God gave me OPPORTUNITIES...
I RECEIVED NOTHING I WANTED but received EVERYTHING I NEEDED."

Here's a glimpse of Iel in her HA.

It's a Behind-the-ear digital HA (Rexton/Siemens). It is even bigger than her ears :-) but she cannot use those inserted onces yet because her ear canals are still getting bigger. She will have her first test three months from now but she can have evaluation with the speech pathologist anytime soon.

Hand-Me-Downs...

So what if I am wearing my mom's shirt or my older sister's clothes? Some may find it uncomfortable since some people may mock you for wearing hand-me-downs but for me, it's a statement of how one takes care of their belongings and for the one who wears it, its a privilege having something to wear that was made older than you are and you must be grateful for they chose you to have it instead of giving it to other people. It may sound like a charity case but looking at the positive side, its one way of saving money and I don't mind wearing old clothes as long as I know whom it came from.

Actually, I don't buy most of my clothes and I don't buy clothes for my kids and my hubby either...unless they need something for a special occasion and of course, personal garments are the only ones I buy. I also set limit for clothing expenses. Perhaps because I was brought up that way. My mom won't mind spending a lot on food but never on clothes. We only buy new set of clothes in December (for the Christmas Program) and in March or April (maybe it was also my gift because we will be going up the stage again to receive my award :-).

Here are some photos of my kids and my sis wearing same clothes. I hope I could find others showing me and my mom and my sis-in-law (she's tall so most of her clothes when she was 15 or 20 are the only ones I could wear hehe) wearing same outfits.

This is for my sister Jade... who would gladly pack and keep her old toys and clothes for her nieces. Thanks to you... Advance Happy Birthday and we are looking forward for the next box you sent. :-)